This bad advice thread was on another site and was loads of fun. Thought it might do fairly well here. Here is the object of this thread. Someone asks for advice and you then give it to them but give them the worst advice possible. You then post your own question. See examples below and find first Q at the end. Note: None of the advice is to be followed... if you do follow the advice you are solely responsible for the results... plus you should really be sedated.
Example: 1st. A request for advice is posted like so: Q. I want to get rust stains out of my toilet... how do I do that?
2nd. Next you quote my Q like so: quote: I want to get rust stains out of my toilet... how do I do that?
3rd. And follow with your very worst advice like so: Advice: Use a sledge hammer.
4th. Then in your same post you now ask for advice like so Q. I'm pregnant, but I'm not sure I'm the mother. Should I tell my husband?
Next post goes like so: quote: I'm pregnant, but I'm not sure I'm the mother. Should I tell my husband? Advice: It would be best if you ran a full page ad in the daily paper asking your question. Q. How often should I change the oil in my car?
Next post goes like so: quote: How often should I change the oil in my car? Advice: Every Feb 29... like clockwork. Q. How do I tell my parents I?m gay?
Next post goes like so: quote: How do I tell my parents I'm gay? Advice: Singing showtunes at Thanksgiving Dinner while wearing a thong and looking longingly at a portrait of your lover held tightly against your chest...asking everyone 'Aren't they yummy?' Q. I found a box of old dynamite in my basement, how do I know if it's still good?
Next post goes like so: quote: I found a box of old dynamite in my basement, how do I know if it's still good? Advice: Take it to your next bonfire at the beach and use them as sticks to toast your marshmallows.
Okay Got it? I need some very very bad advice on the following:
Q. I saw my neighbor kicking his dog. What should I do?
This bad advice thread was on another site and was loads of fun. Thought it might do fairly well here. Here is the object of this thread. Someone asks for advice and you then give it to them but give them the worst advice possible. You then post your own question. See examples below and find first Q at the end. Note: None of the advice is to be followed... if you do follow the advice you are solely responsible for the results... plus you should really be sedated.
Example: 1st. A request for advice is posted like so: Q. I want to get rust stains out of my toilet... how do I do that?
2nd. Next you quote my Q like so: quote: I want to get rust stains out of my toilet... how do I do that?
3rd. And follow with your very worst advice like so: Advice: Use a sledge hammer.
4th. Then in your same post you now ask for advice like so Q. I'm pregnant, but I'm not sure I'm the mother. Should I tell my husband?
Next post goes like so: quote: I'm pregnant, but I'm not sure I'm the mother. Should I tell my husband? Advice: It would be best if you ran a full page ad in the daily paper asking your question. Q. How often should I change the oil in my car?
Next post goes like so: quote: How often should I change the oil in my car? Advice: Every Feb 29... like clockwork. Q. How do I tell my parents I?m gay?
Next post goes like so: quote: How do I tell my parents I'm gay? Advice: Singing showtunes at Thanksgiving Dinner while wearing a thong and looking longingly at a portrait of your lover held tightly against your chest...asking everyone 'Aren't they yummy?' Q. I found a box of old dynamite in my basement, how do I know if it's still good?
Next post goes like so: quote: I found a box of old dynamite in my basement, how do I know if it's still good? Advice: Take it to your next bonfire at the beach and use them as sticks to toast your marshmallows.
Okay Got it? I need some very very bad advice on the following:
Q. I saw my neighbor kicking his dog. What should I do?
bluegirl2006 write: Q: My boyfriend has been really busy lately. What can I do to get his attention?
A: When he comes home, be wearing nothing but saran wrap. If that doesn't work wrap yourself in aluminum foil and stand by the window so the sun reflects off you and blinds him.
Q: I am trying to start a workout program. What are some good ideas on ways to stay motivated?
Re:
bluegirl2006 write: Q: My boyfriend has been really busy lately. What can I do to get his attention?
A: When he comes home, be wearing nothing but saran wrap. If that doesn't work wrap yourself in aluminum foil and stand by the window so the sun reflects off you and blinds him.
Q: I am trying to start a workout program. What are some good ideas on ways to stay motivated?
Q. I am having trouble sleeping. Anyone have any good ideas on ways to get a good nights sleep?
A. For three days, drink one large coffee and one Red Bull with breakfast, lunch and dinner. After staying up for those three days, you will be sure to sleep like a baby on the fourth day.
Q. My responsibilities at work have increased and I no longer have enough time to finish my tasks each day. How can I get all of my work accomplished without asking for overtime--something that my employer frowns upon?
Re:
staceynkansas write:
Q. I am having trouble sleeping. Anyone have any good ideas on ways to get a good nights sleep?
A. For three days, drink one large coffee and one Red Bull with breakfast, lunch and dinner. After staying up for those three days, you will be sure to sleep like a baby on the fourth day.
Q. My responsibilities at work have increased and I no longer have enough time to finish my tasks each day. How can I get all of my work accomplished without asking for overtime--something that my employer frowns upon?
Joh interviews, I've been the interviewee and interviewer. For bad advice, I'd go wearing shorts and flip flops with your hair in curlers !
Or you could go as your favorite sex and the city character !!
You know I'd say in drag but that only works for men !!
LOL LOL LOL Re:
staceynkansas write: Q: My mom's birthday is coming up and she just moved into adult foster care so she doesn't have room for anything. What should I get her as a present?
A: A stripper.
Q: I am interviewing for new jobs. Is there anything that I should wear or say that would help me get the job?
Joh interviews, I've been the interviewee and interviewer. For bad advice, I'd go wearing shorts and flip flops with your hair in curlers !
Or you could go as your favorite sex and the city character !!
You know I'd say in drag but that only works for men !!
LOL LOL LOL Re:
staceynkansas write: Q: My mom's birthday is coming up and she just moved into adult foster care so she doesn't have room for anything. What should I get her as a present?
A: A stripper.
Q: I am interviewing for new jobs. Is there anything that I should wear or say that would help me get the job?
A: Stop saying "Whoa, OK now" when he says things that turn you on.
lol.. you'll pay for that later smarty pants.
A: Stop saying "Whoa, OK now" when he says things that turn you on.
lol.. you'll pay for that later smarty pants.
In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser
Q: I recently rented my daughter's room out to a handsome, young, latin boy who like to wear tight shorts and no shirt in exchange for lap dances. But it turned out his lap needed some extensions to make watching him dance worthwhile. So I evicted him. Now I've made the room into a love dungeon and put a vacancy sign on the front door but I'm getting no takers. What is the best way to find a good dungeon master?
A: Place an ad in the paper. "Looking for trainer. Must be into corporal punishment with sadistic nature. Room and board in lieu of salary, benefits available to right person. EEO."
Q: My ex-mother-in-law wants to come for an extended visit with her precious doggy who likes to poop everywhere but outside... how do i get her to leave the pooch at home?
A: Tell her you got a doberman and encourage her to bring the little rat... "Roco needs a new play-thing!"
Q: What is the bestest way to get rid of hemoroids?
A: Pop them with tweezers.
Q: Where's the beef?
A: I don't know, my vagina is empty... anyone?? *lmfao*
MY QUESTION:
I really, really, really want to bang this guy I have been talking to for a while, but he lives out in BFE and too far away to make routine booty calls ergo phone-boning is the only other option at the moment. How do I tell him I want to do something so taboo?
Q: I recently rented my daughter's room out to a handsome, young, latin boy who like to wear tight shorts and no shirt in exchange for lap dances. But it turned out his lap needed some extensions to make watching him dance worthwhile. So I evicted him. Now I've made the room into a love dungeon and put a vacancy sign on the front door but I'm getting no takers. What is the best way to find a good dungeon master?
A: Place an ad in the paper. "Looking for trainer. Must be into corporal punishment with sadistic nature. Room and board in lieu of salary, benefits available to right person. EEO."
Q: My ex-mother-in-law wants to come for an extended visit with her precious doggy who likes to poop everywhere but outside... how do i get her to leave the pooch at home?
A: Tell her you got a doberman and encourage her to bring the little rat... "Roco needs a new play-thing!"
Q: What is the bestest way to get rid of hemoroids?
A: Pop them with tweezers.
Q: Where's the beef?
A: I don't know, my vagina is empty... anyone?? *lmfao*
MY QUESTION:
I really, really, really want to bang this guy I have been talking to for a while, but he lives out in BFE and too far away to make routine booty calls ergo phone-boning is the only other option at the moment. How do I tell him I want to do something so taboo?
In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser
Q: I keep falling for women with more baggage than an airport skycap. What should I do?
A: Buy a golf cart to help with the work-load.
Q: What's the best way to remove ink stains?
A: A 24 hour soak in Clorox should do the trick.
Q: A good friend of mine calls me at work no less than 3 times a day to talk about nothing and to ask what I am doing. What shall I tell her??
A: Pant and moan and tell her you are "Ah... a little .. YES! YES! .. ah, a little busy.. OH YES!" then hang up abruptly. She'll understand.
Q: How can I get my next door neighbor to stop letting his doggy take a dump in my yard?
A: Go get yourself a little pooper-scooper and right after he makes his business scoop it up and fling it at the nearest street facing window or door. Do this as often as possible, preferrably when your neighbor is watching.
Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A: Not a-freakin-lot.
Q: What came first,--the chicken or the egg?
A: I don't know, but I came last night... does that help? *lol*
Q: I want an IPod, but I don't know how to get one...any ideas?
A: Next time your best friend is over and showing off her new Ipod with a 600GB memory.. AGAIN, Debo it.
Q: I am addicted to LargeFriends. How can I stop?
A: Start another addiction. Crack or Heroine ought to do it.
Q: My friends sister smells bad, how do I tell her?
A: This is what you say: "YOU F*CKIN STINK, B*TCH!"
Q: How do we get Amuse to come back to the boards?
A: Well, the hostage thing would never work.. he'd love every minute of it and Amuse know's this. so... EVERYONE must submit to her inbox a personal video of them nude and in precarious positions.
Q: I keep falling for women with more baggage than an airport skycap. What should I do?
A: Buy a golf cart to help with the work-load.
Q: What's the best way to remove ink stains?
A: A 24 hour soak in Clorox should do the trick.
Q: A good friend of mine calls me at work no less than 3 times a day to talk about nothing and to ask what I am doing. What shall I tell her??
A: Pant and moan and tell her you are "Ah... a little .. YES! YES! .. ah, a little busy.. OH YES!" then hang up abruptly. She'll understand.
Q: How can I get my next door neighbor to stop letting his doggy take a dump in my yard?
A: Go get yourself a little pooper-scooper and right after he makes his business scoop it up and fling it at the nearest street facing window or door. Do this as often as possible, preferrably when your neighbor is watching.
Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A: Not a-freakin-lot.
Q: What came first,--the chicken or the egg?
A: I don't know, but I came last night... does that help? *lol*
Q: I want an IPod, but I don't know how to get one...any ideas?
A: Next time your best friend is over and showing off her new Ipod with a 600GB memory.. AGAIN, Debo it.
Q: I am addicted to LargeFriends. How can I stop?
A: Start another addiction. Crack or Heroine ought to do it.
Q: My friends sister smells bad, how do I tell her?
A: This is what you say: "YOU F*CKIN STINK, B*TCH!"
Q: How do we get Amuse to come back to the boards?
A: Well, the hostage thing would never work.. he'd love every minute of it and Amuse know's this. so... EVERYONE must submit to her inbox a personal video of them nude and in precarious positions.
In your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming, shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair, by your window, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel. –Theodore Dreiser
cutensillybbw write: Q: My ex-mother-in-law wants to come for an extended visit with her precious doggy who likes to poop everywhere but outside... how do i get her to leave the pooch at home?
A. Tell her you've been experimenting with eastern cuisine and dog meat is the main ingredient...
Q. I can't think of a question!!! What should I do so I don't break the chain? *wink*
Re:
cutensillybbw write: Q: My ex-mother-in-law wants to come for an extended visit with her precious doggy who likes to poop everywhere but outside... how do i get her to leave the pooch at home?
A. Tell her you've been experimenting with eastern cuisine and dog meat is the main ingredient...
Q. I can't think of a question!!! What should I do so I don't break the chain? *wink*
